Firsts, Lasts and Nexts

So basically it's come to this: one is good, ten is better, none is best.

First session with my new addiction counselor today. She has recommended a three-day inpatient detox, and I'm going to set it up tomorrow, hopefully for after work on Friday, since I can't take any time off the next two days. I'm not entirely surprised, as I've been spiraling out of control for a while, and I'm alternately relieved and excited to get control back.

But fucking HELL, I'm going to rehab!

Me! I've become a cliche! The drunken writer. I would never write such a hackneyed script. But there it is.

I'm thinking a lot of the firsts and lasts now. I'm having my last bottle of Malbec now, tomorrow night will be my last night of drinking ANYthing good ever again. And I'm terrified of the firsts: what will the first Thanksgiving without a perfectly paired wine course (and then another); first time visiting the in-laws and having to decline; first football Sunday without my tailgating fare... I'm basically looking at reprograming my entire fucking life.

GAAHHH!!!

But I can do it. I'm hardcore. I've done it before. And I'll do it again.

Because I have no choice.

Because I love life.

Because I love MY life.

Because I love me.

Here we go.......