Crash

Trying, trying, trying trying trying...it's all so trying...

98% of my moments now are so drastically better than 98% of my moments six months ago, and I have no desire to go back. But the load of reclaiming and recreating myself has been unbelievably heavy at times. All of this on top of a regular world of steady employment, commuting, general daily maintenance and being a husband/son/brother/friend (and trying like crazy to be a good all of the above) when I barely know how to take care of myself anyway...(I'm extremely independent and self-reliant, yet I can get so lost in myopic focus that I forget to eat, sleep, etc.) That world never stopped. And I've had some catching up to do.

I. Am. So. Mentally exhausted.

Melodramatic treacle, I know, and I will get it together and get to. But Jesus, this has been so hard, and at the end, in spite of all the support I do have, I'm ultimately going it alone...