Moonlight Feels Dynamite

Okay, I love this song. Being a child of the AM ‘70s, Moonlight Feels Right is practically DNA for me. Of course now we live in a much more enlightened, progressive age, in terms of record production, instrumentation and, yes, wardrobe. Thus, the Starbuck experience feels just a wee bit dated.

By which I mean what a bewildering nightmare the ‘70s were! Let’s analyze, shall we? (Okay, we shall!)

Band Name

Huh? Starbucks world infestation…er, domination was at least fifteen years away in 1975. Where did the name Starbuck come from? Perhaps somebody in the band was slurring “Sears and Roebuck” after one too many Seven and Sevens?

“We can get the band pichsures done at Starbuck!”
“Hey, that would be a dynamite band name!”

Singer

That ridiculous golf-caddy cap is too easy. Start with the delivery. Have you ever seen a more disinterested front-man? Like ever? Sure, you can’t get up and throw your keyboard around, but there is no sign of life save for the frantic leg scissors underneath and the occasional head nod, eyebrow uplift and bewildering chuckle before each chorus. I suspect Quaaludes. With the occasional twitch when the bumps kick in.

Okay, and if Sears and Roebuck had a Scarface ensemble, that would be it.

Marimba

Well, the 70s were rough all over, but it must have been an especially dire time for marimba players. Tito Puente’s career was dead, and it would be twenty years before his revival thanks to The Simpson’s. Judging by that full-on beard, I’m guessing Mr. Marimba was turned down by Molly Hatchet.

And sorry, Sir: you will no doubt be hearing from Gene Simmons demanding that cat suit back. Good luck with that.

Bass
The Dutch Boy jumps off the paint can and goes to the prom.

Drummer
Settle down, white boy.

And so the rise of Starbuck: the age of the Moog synth, the dead drum sound, the heinous inhumanly colored bell-bottoms, the chest hair… We’ve come a long way. Feels Right.